Myths: debunked!

This week, I thought I’d do something funny. With a lack of blog post ideas in my head, I went over to HubSpot’s Blog Ideas Generator to see if it could help me come up with some topics. You have to input three nouns, so I chose “writing,” “authors,” and “books.” Most of the results actually gave me a laugh, so this week I’m going to make posts from the funniest ones on the list. Enjoy!

20 Myths About Authors

The generator seems to think there’s a bunch of myths about authors out there. Let’s explore some of them!

  1. We’re all rich. LOL
  2. All our books are made into movies.
  3. We all know each other. Imagine the parties.
  4. We do all our writing in coffee shops. We can’t afford coffee shop coffee.
  5. We all own a cat. Cats own us, this is known.
  6. We’re all perfect at grammar and spelling. I dnt no wht u meen.
  7. You have to be crazy to be a writer. This one is actually true.
  8. Published authors never get rejected. If you think it hurts before you get your first acceptance, imagine how much it sucks when you already have a bunch of stuff published.
  9. Writing is glamorous. I know I’m irresistibly hot in my coffee-stained pajamas with my unbrushed hair hunched over my keyboard like Quasimodo, but restrain yourselves, boys!
  10. We type everything on old-timey typewriters because it looks cool. We also all smoke pipes and wear thick-rimmed glasses.
  11. We plan what’s going to happen in our books ahead of time. Usually it surprises even us.
  12. We killed your favorite character as a personal insult to you specifically. Yes, you.
  13. We love reading our own reviews. I enjoy being told how stupid I am!
  14. We have infinite free copies of our book to hand out to everyone.
  15. We choose pen names because we’ve killed a man and we’re in hiding.
  16. We’ve read all the books ever written as research. Even the ones that perished in the Library of Alexandria, we have copies of them hidden in vaults.
  17. We make ritual sacrifices to the ghosts of Walt Whitman and Ernest Hemingway on Saturdays.
  18. No books are published without Stephen King’s approval first.
  19. Anyone can write a book.
  20. We never, ever slack on getting our writing done.

Do you have any myths to add that I forgot? Let’s spill our secrets, authors!

14 Comments

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  1. This is a great list, as lists go. I learned how to type on an old-timey typewriter (the ones we used were tall, unmanageable, and outdated even when I was in high school) and I’d never go back. I’d rather write longhand.

    I always wondered where the coffeeshop idea came from. I mean, nowadays, yes, maybe if you need an internet connection and don’t have one, but I can’t think of anywhere MORE distracting to write! And I can’t afford coffeeshop coffee, either.

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    1. I learned to type in middle school on electric typewriters–which were still huge and clunky then and you had to use White Out tape to correct mistakes–but I had a manual typewriter at home. Good Lord, I don’t know how writers EVER wrote entire books on manual typewriters. It seems like a punishment you’d use on a writer now!

      I wrote in a coffee shop ONCE, only because I worked in a restaurant at the time and was on a double (a shift where you work open to close) and you get a 2-3 hour break in between shifts, and I knew I’d be bored, so I brought my netbook. The ONLY place I could get enough peace and quiet was the coffee shop next door…trust me, I felt like a cliche the entire time!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. These are great! I especially like number 9. Maybe it’s all the nice pictures of authors from the backs of books that make writing seem glamorous…what would happen if we took more “realistic” shots? Hmm…

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