For the Blogging From A to Z Challenge I’m doing you all a huge favor and filling you in on the 26 Things To Hate About Writing.** I’m hoping by the end of April, I will have convinced all of you not to indulge in the wild insanity of becoming a writer. If I can save even one person from offering themselves up in sacrifice to the mad and fickle word gods, I will have done some good in this world.
Ignoring all logic and common sense, I continue to write stories. Sometimes I write big stories, that span multiple books, because apparently I don’t care to minimize any disaster I create. Despite all the advice I’ve tried to give you up until this point, you’re probably going to keep writing stories too, aren’t you? You absolute masochist.
Well, if you’re going to write stories, and if you’re going to write stories that turn into a series, and even if it’s just contained to one book, you’re probably going to need notes. One of the worst things about writing is trying to keep things organized and not forget an important plot point like the magical cat that showed up in chapter three and then disappeared. You also can’t go about all willy-nilly changing people’s names and appearance. But, here’s the problem with notes:
– They will remind you how dumb you are. How did you start off writing sci-fi and turned it into a western halfway through? Wait, why did I add hockey players?
– If, like me, you write things down on paper, you’re probably at some point going to write something down that later makes no sense and wonder what’s wrong with your brain. The phrase “hot buttered lobsters as hockey pucks” really doesn’t help me out, self.
– You might lose your notes, like you’ve already lost your mind.
Notes just remind you what a strange, forgetful person you are. The kind of person who writes about cowboy hockey players in space. Never mind that notes help you organize your thoughts, keep plot points in order, and eliminate lost story threads, making for a tighter, cleaner manuscript. Who needs notes? Not you. Not me! Just throw anything in there and stir it all together, like the world’s worst vat of jambalaya. Someone will eat it. Just tell them it’s ‘art.’
**Disclaimer: If you haven’t figured it out, these posts are pure satire and simply a humorous way to vent my writing frustrations. No offense is intended to anyone. Please, become or continue being a writer. It’s awesome, I swear. It’s super…duper, awesome…heh heh.