For the Blogging From A to Z Challenge I’m doing you all a huge favor and filling you in on the 26 Things To Hate About Writing.** I’m hoping by the end of April, I will have convinced all of you not to indulge in the wild insanity of becoming a writer. If I can save even one person from offering themselves up in sacrifice to the mad and fickle word gods, I will have done some good in this world.
As if writing isn’t hard enough, I found out you can’t just write stuff and not have it make any sense or be connected to anything in reality at all. It turns out most stories need to have a message, or a theme, which conveys something to your readership. Whether it’s an allegory about treating each other with kindness or a message as simple as “don’t drink six bottles of Pepsi in a row,” stories are richer and more compelling if they have a message. Well, I’m soooo sorry literary world, that every single one of my stories is really just about how evil spiders are. Is that not deep enough for you? I can add cockroaches in there, too.
It turns out that most stories have a message built in, which comes from constructing your plot. Yet, still:
– You may struggle to figure out what your overreaching message is, and not be able to clearly define it at first. Pro tip: it’s probably about the evil, crafty sneakiness of spiders.
– You may find spots in your story that don’t support your message and are out of place. Whatever. We all have that one friend who says they like every living creature but still step on spiders.
– If your message is too heavy-handed, it’s going to feel like a sermon. Tell a story, don’t preach. Unless, of course, it’s about you know what and how they just roll up in your house like they pay rent and chill on your pillow.
One of the worst things about writing is trying to artfully and subtly weave a message into your story. It’s often called the theme, and it’s important, and it’s how you connect to your readers and it says a lot about what you care about and wish to convey to the world. Stories are almost always a message. A message you should stock up on Raid and be ever-vigilant, for they are silent and insidious, and they think it’s really funny when you scream and run like that.
Here’s a fun exercise to help you out: re-read this post and tell me what the main theme is. That’s right, it’s how much I hate writing.
**Disclaimer: If you haven’t figured it out, these posts are pure satire and simply a humorous way to vent my writing frustrations. No offense is intended to anyone. Please, become or continue being a writer. It’s awesome, I swear. It’s super…duper, awesome…heh heh.