F Is For Fantasy Worlds

For the Blogging From A to Z Challenge I’m doing you all a huge favor and filling you in on the 26 Things To Hate About Writing.** I’m hoping by the end of April, I will have convinced all of you not to indulge in the wild insanity of becoming a writer. If I can save even one person from offering themselves up in sacrifice to the mad and fickle word gods, I will have done some good in this world.

Check out each letter’s post here.

FANTASY WORLDS

So, you’ve decided you’re going to write stories. You create these stupid characters and give them stupid things to say and stupid things to do. Now, you have to create some kind of world for them to do all that stupid stuff in. You have to make up a pretend universe and plunk them in it, then pray things don’t go wrong. Well, guess what? It will. It will all go wrong.

Whether another world or this one, you have to give your dumb characters a place to act out their ridiculous story and they have to obey the rules of that world. Ha! Everyone knows characters don’t obey anything. Here’s what’s going to happen when you make up your pretend world:

– You might have to do a bunch of research so that you’re knowledgeable enough to write about the subject matter and where it takes place. Like you have time for learning new stuff when you need to get this damn story written and out of your face.
– You run into walls because of the limitations of your world and you have to creatively think around them. Ugh, what am I, a spelunker?
– If it’s a highly complex world with lots of details, good luck, JRR Tolkien. Everybody knows that really complex fantasy world stories don’t sell.
– The lifestyle your characters live, what they do for a living, and their interconnections are all part of that universe and must be carefully worked out. Maybe even integral to the plot. Wow, you just made this really complicated!

One of the worst things about writing is making up fantastic new worlds and universes in which to set your stories, whether it’s another planet or some super sexy, mysterious spy branch of the government. And, who needs it? Don’t you have better things to do? I find cleaning toilets and painting walls to be more rewarding. I mean, nobody likes a fresh, unique take on a story, set in an exciting world where you can lose yourself and indulge all your fantasies. That carefully-constructed world definitely won’t thrill your readers and make you feel fulfilled as an author at the same time. Better give that wall another coat.


**Disclaimer: If you haven’t figured it out, these posts are pure satire and simply a humorous way to vent my writing frustrations. No offense is intended to anyone. Please, become or continue being a writer. It’s awesome, I swear. It’s super…duper, awesome…heh heh.

47 thoughts on “F Is For Fantasy Worlds

  1. So glad I found this! It’s thanks to Nick Wilford as I may have mentioned. Writers unite!

    Like

  2. See now you’ve laid it out like this I think we should all go back to “A Tree Growing Alone In A Forest”…except now I’m picturing the forest made from alien plants and the world having a portal to hell… Well damn it! *gets out notebook* 😉

    Here’s my “F” post ..which happens to be about a forest lol but it’s a normal one, no aliens I swear (maybe a body though) 🙂 http://nataliewestgate.com/2017/04/forest-secret-diary-of-a-serial-killer

    Like

    1. Hey, as long as they aren’t sentient and don’t talk or interfere with the plot in any way, it’s all good! 😉 It’s when things in a story start THINKING for themselves they create problems!

      Like

  3. That first point is so damn true! I personally felt that writing fantasy fiction would be easy, because you can create your own rules. But after reading your post, I realised that creating fantasy fiction has its own pitfalls and problems, including crossing the bridge between what people already know and what they should know about the fantasy world you’ve created!

    I’m enjoying your posts for the challenge! They really are too hilarious 😀

    Like

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

      Like

  4. randommusings29 April 9, 2017 — 9:26 AM

    When you put it like that, maybe we should all stick to one character in one room with no decoration (that would get rid of the pesky speech too!)
    Debbie

    Like

    1. I’m sure that character would STILL find some way to mess up the plot. Guarantee it!

      Like

  5. This took me back to a screenwriting class where a friend wrote about a fantasy world. One of the other students didn’t “do” fantasy so he suggested that the stories be about warring factions of fleas on a dog’s back. Best 30 minute discussion ever. EVER!!

    Like

    1. LOL wow, cause that’s TOTALLY not fantasy… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Irony was not in his vocabulary

        Like

  6. “Like you have time for learning new stuff when you need to get this damn story written and out of your face.” This made me laugh. I hate it when stories get all up in my face. And they do it *all* the time! 😉

    Like

    1. Same here! They’re insidious!

      Like

  7. So I’m going to write fantasy stories, because as everybody writing fantasy stories know, fantasy stories are the best because you can make yo whatever you want, and it will work. If it’s illogical and stupid and really quite unbelievable who cares? It’s fantasy, isn’t it? It’s suppose to be ‘fantasy’, or what fantasy is that?

    @JazzFeathers
    The Old Shelter – 1940s Film Noir

    Like

    1. Exactly, now you’re getting it! Just throw it all in there! 😉

      Like

  8. I’ve encountered at least one professional writer who will go out of her way to get the science right for science fiction, but doesn’t see why she should bother doing research for fantasy because “it’s my world!” (Face palm!). I recommend Poul Anderson’s article “Of Thud And Blunder” which, last time I looked, was on the SFWA web site, for some ideas as to WHY you need to do research for fantasy.

    I do wish some YA writers would do their research on angels, so that they can get just how unlikely a human/angel blend would be. Also, that “anakim” is a plural word. Again – face palm!

    Like

    1. I don’t write fantasy, but I can totally see why you STILL need to do research to make it believable. Also, I think they watch too much Supernatural, that’s why they think angels could be in human bodies. 😉

      Like

  9. Thanks for a good excuse for me not having finished redoing the walls in my foyer and hallways after having stripped the wall paper–I’ve been busy living in my fantasy world!

    http://www.sagecoveredhills.blogspot.com

    Like

    1. Nooo, you’re doing the opposite of what I’m trying to warn you against! 😉

      Like

  10. I’ve never really got into Fantasy worlds, fairies, werewolves, vampires. I’d much rather read about real people in the real world. (or rather, fictional people in the real world)

    ~Mary
    Jingle Jangle Jungle
    #AtoZChallenge 1970’s Billboard Hits

    Like

    1. I like both. Regardless, the worlds are all ‘fantasy’ in the sense that they’re made up.

      Like

  11. And don’t forgot: just because you think up all those wonderful details, you probably can’t use half of them because you’ve got to keep the freakin’ word count down.

    F is for Fascist Takeover of the US

    Like

    1. Sigh, too true! So much is never going to get said.

      Like

  12. Hahahaha! Prolly my most fave read so far in the challenge as yet. This is my first time on your blog and I will be returning for sure. You have me totally sold…loved the humour…the sarcasm…and the truth too actually..lol. Though I write, I must make a confession that coming up with a make believe story plot is really something…its all those points you listed. But, the effort is worth it. And, I love your theme for the challenge. On that note, I would like to invite you to my blog and day´s challenge F is for Fuck Mantra https://pensense.blogspot.in/2017/04/f-is-for-fuck-mantra-atozchallenge.html. Would love to know your thoughts on it. Im taking up the challenge for the first time btw. Keep writing. Love and Cheers

    Like

    1. Awww, thank you so much, I’m glad you’re enjoying it. And welcome to the challenge, it’s a lot of fun!

      Like

  13. Creating fantasy worlds is sooo much fun 😉 Happy A-to-Z-ing.

    Like

  14. It all sounds like far too much hard work when you put it like that!

    Like

  15. I’m not one for vampires, werewolves and the like, but I like fairies and angels. Might have to do a lot of research to create a suitable world for them. This is great.

    Like

    1. The great thing about stuff like that though is you can make a loooot of stuff up!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. yes, I’ll be cleaning the toilet tomorrow instead of creating a fantasy world.

    Like

    1. Whew, thank goodness! I saved one! 😉

      Like

  17. Fresh and unique – the world wouldn’t know what to do with fresh and unique! 😉
    Tasha
    Tasha’s Thinkings – Shapeshifters and Werewolves

    Like

    1. Sigh, I know. I guess we have to keep writing then, right?

      Like

  18. Maybe I’m writing the wrong shit. Although life with mother feels like being on another planet sometimes. Nice to catch you on #AtoZChallenge. Good luck and well done so far 😉 I’ll be back

    Like

    1. LOL thank you so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. LOL, love it. Great post.

    Happy A to Z.

    Like

  20. Now you’re getting into my realm… Worldbuilding. You’ve been to my site, go up top and click on Worldbuilding, and be prepared to be wow’ed. I go into a lot of detail from geography to metals.

    One common problem I see is no attention to Worldbuilding. I read a story where a character walked from the kitchen of a castle to the outskirts within 5 minutes. I asked them about what the layout of the kingdom was, and their response, “I don’t know.”

    Like

    1. I will have to go over and check them out! Yes, I think that happens a lot, no matter what the genre. The author doesn’t always think through logistics, which makes the world kind of hard to imagine. It’s important to be realistic about space and dimensions even in a fantasy world!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was in my fantasy book. And it was Historical Fantasy (with Vampires, yes I know, Vampires). I did a lot of study, like 10 months worth. Invented a new note taking system so I could process all that information. I’ve been told that my world feel more real because of it.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. What can I say, I love your mind.

        Like

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close