F Is For Fantasy Worlds

For the Blogging From A to Z Challenge I’m doing you all a huge favor and filling you in on the 26 Things To Hate About Writing.** I’m hoping by the end of April, I will have convinced all of you not to indulge in the wild insanity of becoming a writer. If I can save even one person from offering themselves up in sacrifice to the mad and fickle word gods, I will have done some good in this world.

Check out each letter’s post here.

FANTASY WORLDS

So, you’ve decided you’re going to write stories. You create these stupid characters and give them stupid things to say and stupid things to do. Now, you have to create some kind of world for them to do all that stupid stuff in. You have to make up a pretend universe and plunk them in it, then pray things don’t go wrong. Well, guess what? It will. It will all go wrong.

Whether another world or this one, you have to give your dumb characters a place to act out their ridiculous story and they have to obey the rules of that world. Ha! Everyone knows characters don’t obey anything. Here’s what’s going to happen when you make up your pretend world:

– You might have to do a bunch of research so that you’re knowledgeable enough to write about the subject matter and where it takes place. Like you have time for learning new stuff when you need to get this damn story written and out of your face.
– You run into walls because of the limitations of your world and you have to creatively think around them. Ugh, what am I, a spelunker?
– If it’s a highly complex world with lots of details, good luck, JRR Tolkien. Everybody knows that really complex fantasy world stories don’t sell.
– The lifestyle your characters live, what they do for a living, and their interconnections are all part of that universe and must be carefully worked out. Maybe even integral to the plot. Wow, you just made this really complicated!

One of the worst things about writing is making up fantastic new worlds and universes in which to set your stories, whether it’s another planet or some super sexy, mysterious spy branch of the government. And, who needs it? Don’t you have better things to do? I find cleaning toilets and painting walls to be more rewarding. I mean, nobody likes a fresh, unique take on a story, set in an exciting world where you can lose yourself and indulge all your fantasies. That carefully-constructed world definitely won’t thrill your readers and make you feel fulfilled as an author at the same time. Better give that wall another coat.


**Disclaimer: If you haven’t figured it out, these posts are pure satire and simply a humorous way to vent my writing frustrations. No offense is intended to anyone. Please, become or continue being a writer. It’s awesome, I swear. It’s super…duper, awesome…heh heh.

46 comments

  1. See now you’ve laid it out like this I think we should all go back to “A Tree Growing Alone In A Forest”…except now I’m picturing the forest made from alien plants and the world having a portal to hell… Well damn it! *gets out notebook* 😉

    Here’s my “F” post ..which happens to be about a forest lol but it’s a normal one, no aliens I swear (maybe a body though) 🙂 http://nataliewestgate.com/2017/04/forest-secret-diary-of-a-serial-killer

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    1. Hey, as long as they aren’t sentient and don’t talk or interfere with the plot in any way, it’s all good! 😉 It’s when things in a story start THINKING for themselves they create problems!

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  2. That first point is so damn true! I personally felt that writing fantasy fiction would be easy, because you can create your own rules. But after reading your post, I realised that creating fantasy fiction has its own pitfalls and problems, including crossing the bridge between what people already know and what they should know about the fantasy world you’ve created!

    I’m enjoying your posts for the challenge! They really are too hilarious 😀

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  3. When you put it like that, maybe we should all stick to one character in one room with no decoration (that would get rid of the pesky speech too!)
    Debbie

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  4. This took me back to a screenwriting class where a friend wrote about a fantasy world. One of the other students didn’t “do” fantasy so he suggested that the stories be about warring factions of fleas on a dog’s back. Best 30 minute discussion ever. EVER!!

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  5. “Like you have time for learning new stuff when you need to get this damn story written and out of your face.” This made me laugh. I hate it when stories get all up in my face. And they do it *all* the time! 😉

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  6. So I’m going to write fantasy stories, because as everybody writing fantasy stories know, fantasy stories are the best because you can make yo whatever you want, and it will work. If it’s illogical and stupid and really quite unbelievable who cares? It’s fantasy, isn’t it? It’s suppose to be ‘fantasy’, or what fantasy is that?

    @JazzFeathers
    The Old Shelter – 1940s Film Noir

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  7. I’ve encountered at least one professional writer who will go out of her way to get the science right for science fiction, but doesn’t see why she should bother doing research for fantasy because “it’s my world!” (Face palm!). I recommend Poul Anderson’s article “Of Thud And Blunder” which, last time I looked, was on the SFWA web site, for some ideas as to WHY you need to do research for fantasy.

    I do wish some YA writers would do their research on angels, so that they can get just how unlikely a human/angel blend would be. Also, that “anakim” is a plural word. Again – face palm!

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    1. I don’t write fantasy, but I can totally see why you STILL need to do research to make it believable. Also, I think they watch too much Supernatural, that’s why they think angels could be in human bodies. 😉

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  8. Hahahaha! Prolly my most fave read so far in the challenge as yet. This is my first time on your blog and I will be returning for sure. You have me totally sold…loved the humour…the sarcasm…and the truth too actually..lol. Though I write, I must make a confession that coming up with a make believe story plot is really something…its all those points you listed. But, the effort is worth it. And, I love your theme for the challenge. On that note, I would like to invite you to my blog and day´s challenge F is for Fuck Mantra https://pensense.blogspot.in/2017/04/f-is-for-fuck-mantra-atozchallenge.html. Would love to know your thoughts on it. Im taking up the challenge for the first time btw. Keep writing. Love and Cheers

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  9. Now you’re getting into my realm… Worldbuilding. You’ve been to my site, go up top and click on Worldbuilding, and be prepared to be wow’ed. I go into a lot of detail from geography to metals.

    One common problem I see is no attention to Worldbuilding. I read a story where a character walked from the kitchen of a castle to the outskirts within 5 minutes. I asked them about what the layout of the kingdom was, and their response, “I don’t know.”

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    1. I will have to go over and check them out! Yes, I think that happens a lot, no matter what the genre. The author doesn’t always think through logistics, which makes the world kind of hard to imagine. It’s important to be realistic about space and dimensions even in a fantasy world!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was in my fantasy book. And it was Historical Fantasy (with Vampires, yes I know, Vampires). I did a lot of study, like 10 months worth. Invented a new note taking system so I could process all that information. I’ve been told that my world feel more real because of it.

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