For the Blogging From A to Z Challenge I’m doing you all a huge favor and filling you in on the 26 Things To Hate About Writing.** I’m hoping by the end of April, I will have convinced all of you not to indulge in the wild insanity of becoming a writer. If I can save even one person from offering themselves up in sacrifice to the mad and fickle word gods, I will have done some good in this world.
Books! Ugh, am I right? People write entire books and actually publish them, and other people buy them and read them. What kind of world do we live in? One of the worst things about writing is that if you want to be one of these crazy people who publish books, you have to write them first. Do you know what that entails? Do you really want me to lay out the ugly truth for you? Okay, here goes (don’t say you weren’t warned).
If you write a book, this is what’s gonna happen:
– You will plot and plan and then start writing and it’ll be nothing like you originally imagined.
– Your characters won’t give a crap what you want, because you’ve created Frankenstein monsters with minds of their own.
– When you’re done writing, then you have to go back and fix all the mistakes you made! Really?! You’re never allowed to write perfectly the first time.
– You might not even finish it, then you’re gonna cry.
– You might finish it and still cry because it didn’t come out right.
How do I know these things? Because I was dumb enough to write books. I even published a bunch of them. Don’t get into writing books, kids. I don’t care if it’s in your heart and soul to be a writer, I don’t care if writing gives you more joy and peace than you’ve ever known, I don’t care if the writing community is supportive and wonderful, don’t write books. Because then you’re gonna have a bunch of books written and you’re really gonna regret it.
**Disclaimer: If you haven’t figured it out, these posts are pure satire and simply a humorous way to vent my writing frustrations. No offense is intended to anyone. Please, become or continue being a writer. It’s awesome, I swear. It’s super…duper, awesome…heh heh.