K – Kinesics

My A to Z Challenge theme is teaching you how not to write a book, or a short story, or any piece of creative writing whatsoever. For more information, including links to previous chapters and lessons, please refer to this post. Now buckle in and proceed with…

THE WORST ROMANCE NOVEL EVER WRITTEN IN 26 DAYS.


PANDORA’S TACKLEBOX

Billionaire Highlander cowboy Hawk MacHardcastle is tired of living the jetset life of champagne, bucking broncos, kilts, fast cars, and burning bundles of cash for warmth. Desperate to find meaning in his life, he retires to his family’s isolated cabin in the wilds of New Jersey, on the shores of majestic Lake Latrine.

There, Hawk plans on self-reflection and pursuing the great love of his life—fishing. However, Hawk’s self-imposed loneliness comes to an end when he makes a most unusual companion and fishing buddy.

Dropsy Velvet was once a young woman living on the shores of Lake Latrine with her settler family. However, a curse turned her into a mermaid and now she lives, sad and alone, in the depths of the lake. She hasn’t had human contact for close to fifty years, thanks to everyone either being terrified of her or thinking they’re drunk when they see her—but Hawk may be the connection to the world she’s been craving. Charmed by her innocent face, sparkling wit, and huge bare breasts, Hawk decides to help her find a way to lift the curse, as she will lift his: the curse of ennui and affluenza. But time is running out, for something sinister wants to flush Latrine away forever.


Kinesics

That evening, Hawk dug a pit on the beach and built a fire. He then fried up the fish he’d caught. The scent of charred seafood filled the air, an odor that reminded him of his childhood days on the rodeo circuit with his father. There was nothing like a big old fish fry beneath the painted desert sky after a hard day of taming bucking broncos.

Dropsy stretched out on the sand. She twitched her tail and gritted her teeth as she watched Hawk slough the scales off with a big bowie knife and dig the fish’s guts out. She winced as he threw the skinned fish on the fire and they sizzled. She wrinkled her nose and her eyes watered as the scent of frying fish filled the air. Poor girl, she had to be starving. She probably lived off plankton and seaweed at the bottom of the lake.

Hawk stretched out on the sand next to her as the fish cooked and raised his eyebrows at her in his best come-hither look. He laid on his side, propped on one elbow, and struck his best model pose. That always got the ladies frisky for him.

“Wait a second.” Something dawned on him. “Does eating fish make you a cannibal?”


WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?

Kinesics is the interpretation of body language, facial expressions, and nonverbal cues people exude in everyday encounters with each other. These indicators can be as important in writing as they are in real life—they can say a lot about your character and about what they’re going through and what their emotional and mental state is. Using descriptions of body language and facial expressions is a way to accomplish that popular writing adage: show, don’t tell. You can show a lot about what’s going on in someone’s head using just a few words.

If your other characters don’t pick up on these cues, that can say a lot about them, as well. Just make sure it’s believable, because most people instinctively pick up on nonverbal indicators whether they realize it or not. It’s just how we’re wired. It’s part of what makes us human. Of course, if your main character is a self-absorbed nitwit who cooks a mermaid fish for dinner, it shows us exactly the kind of person he is when he doesn’t interpret her cringing correctly.

28 thoughts on “K – Kinesics

  1. Ah! It wasn’t a good idea 😉

    I love body language in storytelling. In fact, I love it so much, that I write too much of it. When I edite, I normally have to cut on it – quite a lot.
    Yeah, it’s true, body language can be Tricky because the reader could interprete it in a different way than you meant it, but on the other hand, if you don’t use it, it feels kind of weird (at least to me), because we are so used to have those cue in real life, we just expect them.

    I think Dropsy’s body language was quite eloquent. In fact Hawk (as a true hawk) picked it up… eventually 😉

    Like

    1. I seem to have the same problem. When I go back and edit I find the characters are doing too much fidgeting and moving around, in an attempt to show how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking. I have to remind myself those things are well and good, but I can show it through dialog as well!

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  2. This is priceless–feeding fish to a mermaid. Then again, I know some parrots who wouldn’t turn their beaks up at a piece of chicken.

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    1. Hahahaha that’s great! I wonder how many animals would happily eat their brethren? Of course in the animal world things get a bit sketchy what with predators and prey and all.

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  3. I did not know it was called kinesics *tucks words away in back of brain*. Show don’t tell, oh how many times have I had a scene thrown back at me with those words :). Great point, well made.
    Tasha
    Tasha’s Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

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    1. I actually learned the word myself when searching for a good ‘K’ word. We both learned something!

      Thank you!

      Like

  4. There’s almost an abundance of body language going on here. I know humans are a restless species but damn.

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    1. LOL ‘humans.’ I think you just outed yourself as an alien. 😉

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      1. Shhhh nobody was supposed to know.

        Like

  5. Well, that took long enough. She should have slapped him with that tail! LOL

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  6. It sure took Hawk long enough. He definitely needs a lesson in kinesics.

    ~Ninja Minion Patricia Lynne aka Patricia Josephine~
    Story Dam
    Patricia Lynne, Indie Author

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  7. Hawk is “that guy”! The one that looks good and that’s about it. Well done!

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  8. I believe that Hawk is a little far-sighted as well as near-sighted, a tad deaf and anti-social. I would ask the lady what she likes to eat; my luck I’d be cooking a green leafy/ veggie dish

    Sir Leprechaunrabbit
    @leprchaunrabbit
    https://yourrootsareshowingdearie.wordpress.com/

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    1. I don’t think Hawk has any sight, or common sense, at all. 😀 Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, he just needs a crash course in Charm School 🙂

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  9. Haha, this was great, how he tried to seduce her after he fried up some fish. Nothing puts me in the mood for love like a little cannibalism!
    https://doreeweller.wordpress.com/2016/04/13/k-is-for-dean-koontz/?fb_action_ids=10207477055143227&fb_action_types=news.publishes

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  10. Memories of a fish fry in the desert? Wow! That sounds extremely expensive, at least if the fish were supposed to be fresh.

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    1. Hahaha! Well you know, Hawk’s family are so rich and amazing, they can do whatever they want!

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  11. Great post! New word to add to my arsenal. Thanks.

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  12. These two are just a hot mess. Love it!
    At least you remembered to have body language that’s below the neck. I hate books that are just flashing eyes and knowing smiles. It’s like reading about two bobble-heads floating is space.
    Robin from Write On Sisters

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    1. That cracked me up! I never thought of it that way, but you’re totally right! Thank you!

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  13. Haha ! At least it dawned on Hawk..
    Didnt know about kinesics before, again, very informative in the most entertaining way possible.Kudos.

    @Subhmohanty from
    And Life Unfolds…

    A * Alone >> B * Butterfly >> C * Curry >> D * Dance >> E * Edge >> F * Forest >> G * Grin >> H * Homecoming >> I * Ink >> J * Jasmine >>K * Knot >>

    Like

    1. Thank you! At least Hawk is learning…don’t feed fish to a mermaid! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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