This post is part of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group blog hop. The first Wednesday of every month is Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. The awesome co-hosts for the January 6 posting of the IWSG will be L.G. Keltner, Denise Covey, Sheri Larsen, J.Q. Rose, Chemist Ken, and Michelle Wallace!
Well, here we are, a new year. A fresh start! Time to regroup and renew. That of course means resolutions–to try harder, do better, get things done, and create some success.
I’ve always been an ‘organizer.’ By that I don’t mean I’m overly organized (ha ha, no), but that I like to make lists and plans for myself and write them out and decide succinctly how I’ll do things, and at what specific times, and how one thing will follow the other and accomplish this and that. I’m very good at creating a plan and working it out neat and tidy on paper. It makes me feel secure and organized and like I’m already accomplishing something.
The problem is, I never actually follow the plans I lay out for myself. I might, for a few days or even weeks, but then I wander off course and forget about it. I think I cripple myself by laying everything out nice and pretty and then my brain thinks “good job, we did it!” only we haven’t even started doing anything. Not to mention it gives me anxiety to think “gosh, I have to get this done today because I wrote it down!” Then I admonish myself for being ‘lazy’ if I don’t scratch things off my list when I’m supposed to.
That’s not to say I don’t get things done, because I do, but I never seem to stick to these explicit directions I write out for myself. I find like most imposed work, I balk at the idea of doing it because I HAVE to, but when I give myself flexibility and breathing room, I tend to get it done anyway. I also know of myself I’ve never been a consistent worker, but the type of writer that gets a huge amount of stuff done in one go and then slacks off the rest of the week. I’ve always been like that. But still, I persist in trying to give myself directions, like it’s going to magically change me.
So, my writing resolution this year is one that seems contradictory to the spirit of resolutions:
I’m going to stop making plans.
I’m just going to write, and edit, and do the work I need to do, when and how I choose to do it, without some self-imposed schedule. I’m going to stop cracking the whip on myself and then getting over-critical of myself when I don’t follow rules I don’t like to begin with. I do want to accomplish certain things and be more active in certain areas as I detailed in my writing resolutions post earlier this week, but I’m not going to give myself some rigid schedule to do it in.
I’m going to get back to enjoying writing, without breathing down my own neck.
How about you? Do you plan on being harder or softer on yourself this year?