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Y is for Yearning

This post is part of the Blogging from A to Z challenge–blogging every day in the month of April (except Sundays!) with each letter of the alphabet.

For most of my life I’ve wanted to be a writer. It was never just a hobby for me, even when I wasn’t getting anywhere with it and I was far, far away from making any kind of money off it. Even through years of frustration, false starts, and rejections, I knew I was a writer. Nothing ever made me feel like writing did and when I looked into the future, I couldn’t imagine being anything but a writer. It took a lot of years to get to where I am now, maybe a lot more than some people take, but I always followed the same path.

That’s not to say the path was easy, or I didn’t sometimes fall off. More than once I shook my fist at the Universe and swore I was done. I’d had enough heartbreak, I’d failed enough times. I wanted to do something easier, something that wouldn’t hurt me so bad. The problem was, there was nothing else. The future without writing looked gray and bleak. Eventually I’d wander back to the page, roll up my sleeves, and get back to work doing what it was I was meant to do.

Writing has always been a yearning in me, something coded into my DNA that I couldn’t remove if I wanted to. It made me who I am from a young age and gave me a purpose. I always knew I was a writer and I didn’t question it. I’m blessed in that way, to always know what my role in life is, what I’m supposed to be. I struggled to get to a place with it where I’m content, but I have a feeling I won’t stay here long before I want to surge forward again. The yearning remains.

How about you, have you always been a writer? Did the yearning keep you on the path even when you wanted to wander off?

By the way, when this challenge is over, I’m moving on to the next! Come join me in May for NaBloPoMo, blogging every day in May about photos!

NaBloPoMo_PHOTO

Megan Morgan View All

Urban fantasy and paranormal romance author.

15 thoughts on “Y is for Yearning Leave a comment

  1. Stopping by from the #atozchallenge 2015! Don’t forget our after party. The Reflections Linky List will open on Monday May 4th.
    Great post. I have no idea how NOT to be a writer. I tried it once, when I was “lost” to the world. Writing again is what brought me back. It’s my purpose (I’ve been told as much by wise people).
    I’m following you on your listed social media sites.
    J @JLenniDorner

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  2. I began writing in middle school mainly to pass summers and have my female character ‘get’ the male character of which I never did in real life.
    I stopped writing once I got to high school and picked it back up when FanFiction came out during Harry Potter. Now, I am writing and my first book is being picked up by a small publisher and I’m still writing. I have to now; I have so many ideas in my head that they have to come out and get on ‘paper’ in order for me to remember important things: work schedule, walk the dog etc 🙂

    Great post! I’m visiting from A to Z Challenge!

    http://www.heathermccubbin.blogspot.com

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    • Your path seems so much like mine, only I started in high school. I wrote tons of fan fiction! And I started my career in small presses. Keep going! You’re doing wonderful!

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. I didn’t realize I was worthy to be called a writer until I was in college. Unfortunately, being the middle child of four siblings who were all ridiculously talented in the arts, I got lost in the shuffle, couple that with low self-esteem that I tried to laugh-away for years, I just didn’t realize my worth. Although some of us are born with an innate sense of self worth, I was not. I was also surrounded by over-achievers who lacked empathy, and I think that can really be scarring for a child.

    But, thank the universe, as I grew into adulthood and started rediscovering myself and my worth, I became acutely aware of my own talents. One of those was writing. After multiple failed romances and two children produced from those, I went to college as a single mother. Working and going to school, and paying bills with no financial support was the mother of all life challenges, but I certainly discovered my strengths and weaknesses.

    While in college, several professors gave me the lift I needed by letting me know I was a good writer. It only takes one or two kind words like that to encourage someone and propel them into their own personal success. At least that’s what it did for me…those words, and good grades on copious essays and 20-page papers *pats self on back* really instilled the confidence in me that I was indeed worthy of the title, writer. I earned my BA in New Media Journalism, but unfortunately, it was during the collapse of the industry, and I’ve never worked as a bona fide journalist (aside from being a staff writer on the college paper).

    So, with my sense of humor and appetite leading the way, for now, I blog, and though insignificant, I do believe it now, when I say I’m a writer.

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    • That’s a wonderful story and very important for burgeoning writers to hear. I think some writers fear that the only way you can ever make it is being surrounded by a constant support system, given all the right advantages in life, and having all the time and resources in the world to produce your materials. In reality, most writers struggle, raise kids, have jobs, go through low periods, are broke, don’t get the education or direction they need, and have people discouraging them. And still, they write, because it’s who they are and want they want. Your soul doesn’t care what your physical circumstances are.

      Blogging is not insignificant–especially in this day and age when putting your words on the internet open you up to a huge audience. Keep going. You’ll get to where you want to be. Your road has been long and hard, but it taught you how to overcome obstacles.

      Thank you for stopping by!

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  4. I believe you just re-printed a page from my personal journal. I suppose it’s time to change my password. LOL
    Seriously though, I think the same things. And now I’ve had the additional fear of thinking, I’m too old. I missed the boat. I should have done something more productive when I was younger. But I have always felt I was a writer. I guess as long as I’m still writing, I’ll always feel like a writer. And I don’t plan on putting down my pen till the day I die.

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    • LOL I swear I wasn’t going through your journal! I think we’re just on the same wavelength.

      If you’re worried about age, my favorite fact is that Norman Maclean, who wrote ‘A River Runs Through It’ didn’t publish that book until he was 74, and it received huge critical acclaim. It’s never too late as long as we’re still alive.

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. Whenever I think about quitting writing, I think about the things I could do after I quit: how much fun I’d have, how many interesting people I’d meet, how many new experiences I’d have. And then I start thinking about how great it would be to write about all that stuff. It seems I’m caught in an endless cycle. Whatever direction my life might take, it always leads back to writing.

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    • Yep, I’ve had that feeling before! I even ‘quit’ once thinking I was going to take up all these other fun hobbies. Ha! I was writing again in a week. Once it has its claws in you, it doesn’t let go. However, I’m not sure I mind.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I wrote all the time, but never dreamed of publishing my work. Was told to many times, but it took me awhile to work up the courage to do so. Now, I can’t see myself not working on my writing and publishing at least four hours a day. It helps me in more ways than I can explain.

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  7. I understand your yearning, because it’s been the same for me. I decided at age 11 that I will be a writer, but I also decided to take a round about way of becoming one. You see, I figured that I needed different life experiences to be a good writer, so I went to art school (where I took lots of writing classes) and worked in different professions to get life experience. But life has also taken me towards writing. Like you, I keep returning. Now, I am ready to endure the heartache and hard work, because the yearning has become more than I can bear.

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    • I think that’s wonderful, that you wanted to have experiences first! The call of writing is so strong though–good luck now that you’re ready to listen to it. It can be the most wonderful and the most painful thing in the world.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

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